Prologue

    I don’t know why I am writing this. Actually, that’s a lie. I do know why I am writing this. I do that a lot. Lie. It’s part of the problem; we’ll get to that though.

    I read somewhere that writing can sometimes be used as a coping method, that a good way to get things off of your chest and out of your head is to get them down on paper. I thought I would give it a shot. What could it hurt, right?

    This is a story about how I fell in love with the one person I knew I shouldn’t. How I had every opportunity to change what happened but didn’t. The places don’t matter. The people are real but the names are fake and in the end we don’t live happily ever after. This is the story of how I let him destroy me.

    So if that hasn’t scared you off and you still want to keep reading, I guess I should introduce you to the story and by extension, me.

    My name is Alice. I work as a lighting technician. Yeah, I know most of you won’t know what that means. Basically if you have ever been to a concert, all of that cool lighting stuff, I make it fly in the air and work. I fell into this job. Happiest accident I have ever been a part of. I went back to college beginning of September 2015 to start a career in audio. I know I just said I did lights, it will all make since though, I promise, but that’s not what this is about. This is about him and I.

    There are times that I think about more often than others. Maybe I shouldn’t say times. Moments. I guess that’s the same thing. “Times” seems like too long of a word to describe it though. I know time can rank from a second to a year to an eternity but nothing with him seemed to ever last that long. Time is constant, but moments, moments like those, those are rare.

    I feel pathetic. I don’t even know where to really begin here though to explain why I feel this way. I guess we should start with when we met. It was the day after a party. My first day interning at a new gig. I was hung-over. Honestly, everyone was hung-over though. The house crew, the tour crew, the band, and the interns. All of us, victims of something that we could have avoided but didn’t have the thoughts to stop drinking at a decent hour, or at least switch to water. Actually, let me start off by telling you about that night before, about that party.